Faith,  Grief

The Holidays Without Our Loved Ones

Coping with the loss of our loved ones any day is not easy however, during the holidays, everything is heightened. On television, we see commercials with families gathered around the table and on social media there are tons of cute pictures of our family and friends dressed in matching PJ’s posing for the camera (I love family photos like those btw). However, for many of us its a reminder that the people who we love the most are no longer here. Recently, I spoke with a friend, who is grieving the loss of a loved one, she asked, “How are you able to get through the holidays”? I answered, ” “Honestly”. ‘Time”.

Whether you’re celebrating year one or you’re on year six. It simply takes time, and though culture tells us that everything is quick; grieving the loss of a love one is not. It is a process which takes time, so be kind and patient with yourself.

No magic formula

I wish there was a quick and easy remedy to ease our pain during the holidays, or just period. In John 16:33 AMP it reads, I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have {perfect} peace. In the world you have tribulation and distress and suffering, but be courageous {be confident, be undaunted be filled with joy}; I have overcome the world”. {My conquest is accomplished, My victory abiding}.

During our trials Jesus tells us to be courageous and filled with joy. We have to make a decision to choose joy and stir ourselves up so that we are not overwhelmed by depression.

Therefore I remind you to stir up the gift of God which is in you through the laying on of my hands. 2 Timothy 1:6-7 NKJV

When you lose hope, the thoughts of “its always going to be this way, will overwhelm you”, and that’s not true. The truth is, it will not always be this be this way, but you have to remain hopeful and hold on to the expectation that you will get through it…remember as long as you’re “going through” means that you’re moving forward.

What can I do during the Holidays

Spending time with family and friends who are healthy to your growth and grieving process can help you. However, it may not be healthy for you to be around family and friends, who question why you’re still grieving or my favorite line, “why are you still crying” (sarcasm). We all grieve differently so ensure you are in a safe environment, that is conducive to your growth.

Serving in your community can assist you in your grieving, whether your serving the homeless or assisting families who are disadvantaged. Placing your energy towards helping others can alleviate the feelings of depression from the loss of a loved one.

Being alone is healthy as well. Some people thrive by being alone and reviving their energy. At times, its healthy to take a moment away from family and friends to process our pain. Cuddled up with a comfy blanket, a cup of hot tea and your favorite movie or book may be just what you need, in this season.

Whatever you choose to do, remember to choose hope. The definition of hope, is the feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best. Its important to remember that we still have family and friends who love us and there is still a purpose for our life. Your meaningful work on this earth is not done so honor your loved ones and continue to be a blessing here on this earth.